1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,960
MORPHEUS: As far back
as I can remember,

2
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,760
I've always wanted to be
the Berry Man.

3
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:08,760
Half man, half tree. Utterly pure
of sin and immune to all temptation.

4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,680
Why are you so obsessed
with the Berry Man?

5
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,880
It's just some toss pot
in a costume.  Alison!

6
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,040
The Berry Man Festival
is a Neston tradition.

7
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,920
It's been going on
for hundreds of years.

8
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,320
Yeah, so's Fast and Furious.
It doesn't mean it's any good.

9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,520
That is absolute blasphemy.  I'm
skipping the fete this year.  What?

10
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,320
We always get pissed together.
It's not that fun, though, is it?

11
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,400
I thought you two had
plenty of fun last year.

12
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,880
Behind the petting zoo.

13
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,000
Alison, you'll get pissed
with me, right?

14
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,920
Love to, I promised I'd do
this charity tarot tent

15
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,080
for cancer or some shit.

16
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,560
Fuck's sake! Does nobody
want to get pissed with me?

17
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,640
I will, good sir, but only after...

18
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,280
You wank yourself off to
the dance of the Berry Man?

19
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,320
He's an ancient wood spirit
and utterly chaste,

20
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,480
so he wouldn't appreciate a wank.

21
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,480
So fucking joke's on you, innit?

22
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,600
HE CRACKS CAN

23
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,320
Think that barmaid will be on the
kissing booth again this year?

24
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:27,320
No, she did it last year, and put it
this way - Co-op ran out of Zovirax.

25
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,360
Great turnout on the scarecrows
this year, Verian.  Oh, thanks.

26
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,720
Listen, a bit of a disaster.

27
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,600
You know Terry Bennett bought all
those llamas?  Alpacas, yeah.

28
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,120
Well, they got into Mockers' field
and, basically, they've killed his horse.

29
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,960
Oh, he loved that horse.

30
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,080
I know. Mark's distraught
and he's pulled out, so...

31
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,160
You mean we don't have a Berry Man?

32
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,360
You can't have a Berry Man festival
without a Berry Man.  I know.

33
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,360
It hasn't happened since 1795.  1795.

34
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,520
Fucking hell, guys! What are
we going to do?  I don't know.

35
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,840
I was going to ask you
if you'd do it, Morpheus.

36
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,840
TRUMPET FANFARE

37
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,720
Me?

38
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:09,720
Yes!  Ooh!  Fucking...fucking yes!
High five. No, fuck it - high ten.

39
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,200
BOTH EXCLAIM

40
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,560
Come and see me about
the...fucking costume.

41
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,240
Yes! Bosh!

42
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,640
You're in there, mate.
What? Verian?

43
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,200
Well, obviously
I won't be pursuing that.  Why?

44
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,200
Cos you're saving yourself for
Alison?  No, I don't fancy Alison.

45
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,080
Why? Has she said something?
Of course she fucking hasn't.

46
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,520
She never will, so just go over
there and sausage Verian.

47
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,000
I will not be sausaging anyone.

48
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,800
Because I've been charged with
the sacred office of the Berry Man.

49
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,320
And I will not abuse that power.

50
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,600
Innit just dressing up like a twat
and mooching about?

51
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,600
He's an ancient wood spirit!

52
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,000
DOOR BELL DINGS

53
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,320
Closed.

54
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,920
Sorry. I just need some
milk for this little guy.

55
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,560
He's a common pipistrelle bat.

56
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,560
He's hurt his wing so I'm nursing
him back to health. It's what I do.

57
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,440
I rescue bats.

58
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,440
 The smile on your face
lets me know that you need me

59
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,440
 There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never... 

60
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,960
VIDEO GAME DINGS, TRILLS

61
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,000
Oh!

62
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,200
SHE GAGS

63
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,200
I have, uh, soya milk. It's for my
brother. Stops him farting.

64
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,240
Oh, no. It's got to be dairy.
I can buy you some.

65
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,960
I can go to the shop right now
and bring it to you in your house. Where's your house?

66
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,920
Well, I'd only come
if I was invited. Am I invited?

67
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,280
It's not like I need an invite.
I'm not a vampire.

68
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,760
But I would if I had your consent.

69
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,760
I always check for consent.

70
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,640
I'm sure there'll be some at the
fete. Perhaps I'll see you there.

71
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,960
Top bananas!

72
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,920
HE CHUCKLES

73
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,080
SHE GROANS
Fuck's sake.

74
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,440
You all right?  Yeah. Fine.

75
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,440
Look, I'll catch you later,
you know, if I've got the time.

76
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,560
MUSIC: Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer

77
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,560
VIDEO GAME TRILL

78
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,440
Oi!  Holy shit.  I thought you
weren't coming.  I'm...not. I'm...

79
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,520
I'm just checking out the sexy
man at the bat tent.

80
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,040
You seen him?  Yeah, but I reckon
he's got poo under his fingernails.

81
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:22,040
Yeah. And I'd clean out
every one of them.  Eugh.

82
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,200
Look after my tent for me
while I go for a piss?

83
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,440
No. You tried this last year.
You'll leave me here while you go and get drunk.

84
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,960
No, I'm just going to go to the loo.
Do you want anything?

85
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,560
From the loo?  Yes.

86
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,520
Get me a cider.
From the toilet?  Drop the act.

87
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,840
Can you at least show me
how you do it?

88
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,920
So, do you need to ordain me
or give me a turban or something?

89
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,640
Nah, it's just a load of bollocks.

90
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,440
Just turn over the cards and come up
with some bullshit like...

91
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,800
SHE GASPS

92
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,680
"You tried to dodge the fate
because you're afraid of fucking Kent again."

93
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,040
That's what the spirits said.

94
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,040
Yeah, well, the spirits can
go...suck on...my tits, then.

95
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,880
Now I'm off for that piss.

96
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,880
You just winked at the person
you're lying to.  I'm not lying!

97
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,160
Oh. So you came in the end.
Yeah. To help Alison.

98
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:15,200
Give us a turn, then.  All right.

99
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,720
SHE GASPS

100
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,080
You got the twat card.

101
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,640
It means you're a massive twat.

102
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:23,200
Yeah, but you dealt the cards
so she who dealt it is the twat.

103
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,920
Yeah, but it's more on your side
of the table, so you're the twat!

104
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,720
Actually, you're the twat.
You're the twat!  Fine.

105
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240
If I say I'm the twat, can we
just please go and get a beer?

106
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,280
Let's see what the
spirits have to say.

107
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,560
SHE GASPS

108
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:38,560
It says you're a twat
again.  Nice one.

109
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,880
Want a beer?  Get me a pint.

110
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,880
Will do.

111
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,800
It's looking really, really good.
It's such an honour to be asked.

112
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,360
Looking forward to the ceremony?

113
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,040
A gift of food
and wine from the villagers.

114
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,040
It's more than that, Verian.
It's what the Berry Man stands for.

115
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,200
He reminds us there's more to life
than the basic human vices of greed,

116
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,200
desire and...temptation.

117
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,280
You make it all sound very noble.

118
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,840
I...I'm a bit worried
about the face paint.

119
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,720
I've...I've got some eczema
behind...  Behind your ear?

120
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,840
Yeah.  Me too.

121
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,040
I've actually got some moisturiser.
Don't...don't worry about it.

122
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,560
Really. No, please.  I'm fine.
I don't need any moisturiser.  Hey. Honestly, I...

123
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,560
HE MOANS
Oh.

124
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,080
Uh!

125
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,760
Run me through the
itinerary again, yeah?

126
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,800
Nice, safe, innocent logistics.

127
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,040
Oh, no, you don't need
to worry about that.

128
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:04,040
I'll be right by your side all day,
whispering in your ear.

129
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:08,120
The Berry Man would prefer
a printout.

130
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:12,280
MUSIC: Return To Innocence by Enigma

131
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,560
SHE GASPS

132
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,840
Oh, no.
It says your bat's going to die!

133
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,320
Really? Oh, God.

134
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,120
Oh, no. No, I'm joking.

135
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,120
You know, megabants, LOLs.
Ach, the noo! Thank God.

136
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,120
You know, I'm very worried about
him.  Forget about the tarot.

137
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:40,120
Let's do something else.
Um, like...like palm reading.

138
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,200
Hmm.

139
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,200
That's a strong hand.
It's like a dad's!

140
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,520
Da-dah! Got you a pint. What's this?

141
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,520
Is this your boyfriend?
SHE SNORTS

142
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,360
No. He's just someone
I knew at school.

143
00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:00,360
Nice. Do you want your pint, then?
Do you want a pint?  Sure.

144
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,120
You want to give my pint
to Lip Ring?  Dude.

145
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,280
You can just get another one.  It's
£4 a pint!  I'll give you four quid.

146
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,080
Do you have four quid?  I'll...owe
you four quid.  Give me four quid.

147
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,400
No, don't even worry about it.
Kent, stop being a dick.

148
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,160
Oh, for fuck's sake!
And there's a massive queue.

149
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,160
Fucking craft lager.

150
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,000
Sorry.

151
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,560
So, how about you do me?
Er...do my hand?

152
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,520
Sorry. You know what I mean.  Aye.

153
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,800
I think I know what you mean.

154
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,720
BELLS RING

155
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,720
REGAL MUSIC

156
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,680
MUSIC DISTORTS, SILENCE

157
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,920
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK WHINES

158
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,920
Behold the Berry Man!

159
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,960
JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS

160
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,840
They had a fucking year
to plan this.

161
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,920
I just need to get smashed.
We could try...

162
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,880
Mind Swamp. It's more a mellow,
black-out sort of thing, right?

163
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,840
Makes you want to cry but in a good
way.  What about, er...Throat Cutter?

164
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,000
I'm not technically allowed
to sell it.

165
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,160
I can recommend it...

166
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,960
as weed killer.

167
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,960
What is it?
Sort of like vodka. More bleachy.

168
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,080
You put bleach in it?  Only a little
bit. Just take the edge off.

169
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,480
The paint.

170
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,480
No fucking way.  Wait.
Will it get us really fucked?

171
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,640
Yes.

172
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,360
God, it smells like snake's piss.
Ooh!  I ain't drinking that.

173
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,440
Oh, can't drink it -
it'll strip your stomach.

174
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,360
Well, how do you take it?

175
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,640
Ah!

176
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,640
You put 'em up your arse.
Yeah. We got it.

177
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,600
Tell me about my sexy line again.

178
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,160
ETHEREAL MUSIC

179
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,520
So it starts here.

180
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,520
Goes all the way along...to here.

181
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,360
HE MUMBLES

182
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,280
Yes? Like...?

183
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,800
HE MUMBLES

184
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,040
Got...Got...

185
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,520
Sorry. I know.
If I move it this way, I can do it.

186
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,520
No, no.  Really jammed
in there, isn't it?

187
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,640
No, no, no, no. Just stop.
No, trust me.

188
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,920
SQUELCH

189
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,080
BOTH SQUEAL

190
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,960
Ahhh!  Jesus, God!  God!

191
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:23,000
BOTH SCREAM

192
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:23,000
MUSIC: Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe

193
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,160
Are you using the applicator?
No, I abandoned the applicator.

194
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,000
I'm just thumbing it in.
Ohh. It's like a dead slug.

195
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,000
Oh! It's actually not that bad
once it's in. Sort of comforting.

196
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,880
OK. Oh, mine's in.

197
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,160
Oh, no! Agh! Oh, fuck, it burns!
It fucking burns!

198
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,160
I'm pulling it out!
I'm pulling it out.

199
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,400
Ohhhh, shit!  What?

200
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,640
Let's do this.

201
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,160
Mm.  Mm.

202
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,760
Mmm, that is a creamy filling.
Oh. I'd love a creamy filling.

203
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,480
Yeah, you...you've already
said that.  Oh. Sorry.

204
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,640
This one's, er, got liqueur
in it.  Yeah?

205
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,160
Maybe we'll eat too much,
get a bit tipsy.

206
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,200
SHE GAGS

207
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,200
Verian, must I remind you

208
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,760
the Berry Man has forgone
all human vices.

209
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,760
What? Even this?

210
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,960
HEART BEATS RAPIDLY

211
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,560
JOLLY FOLK MUSIC PLAYS

212
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,600
Morpheus!  I just need
some space, Verian.

213
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,600
As the Berry Man wishes.

214
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,880
Bloody prick-tease.

215
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,240
(GHOSTLY VOICE) Mmm,
I love a creamy filling.

216
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,560
Tipsy. Creamy filling.

217
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,560
1795. Creamy.

218
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,720
Candyfloss?  Fucking hell, Sean Bean.

219
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,040
No, thanks.

220
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,440
When it's on the hook, I do.

221
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,520
What are you doing here?
Staging an intervention.

222
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,920
Don't you like that lass?

223
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,880
Yes, but I'm not supposed to do
that sort of thing.

224
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,520
I'm a role model.

225
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,040
Role model for who? Fucking trees?
He's an ancient wood spirit!

226
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,920
Look, I'm not throwing all this
away for a spot of rumpy-pumpy.

227
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,200
Being the Berry Man
is an opportunity that comes around once a decade.

228
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,200
So is finding a lass
that fancies you.

229
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,720
Now get over there and sausage her.
Is that just a thing now?

230
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,480
Are we all just saying sausaging?

231
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:51,480
Listen.  Aghh!  You've got to decide
what's more important -

232
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,640
prancing around the fair
dressed like a ninny

233
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,080
or finally getting
your roots watered.

234
00:13:56,080 --> 00:14:00,080
Yes, Sean.
Now, have some candyfloss.  Yeah.

235
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,560
It's nice, isn't it?  Mm.

236
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,600
I just didn't think there
would be that much blood.

237
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,240
It just kept...spurting.

238
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,720
Just pssh, pssh, pshh! Arghh!

239
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,800
I'm actually still feeling a little
woozy, so...  Sorry. Sorry.

240
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,640
You know, it's Alison's fault,
really, for giving me the rings.

241
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,280
It's OK, honestly.

242
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,280
I was thinking about getting
another piercing anyway.

243
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,480
Thanks.

244
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:40,480
I just don't want you to think I'm,
like, some sort of psycho killer.

245
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:44,560
You know, the film. Psycho.

246
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,560
You know with the... Ree! Ree! Ree!

247
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:57,640
I'm...I'm so sorry.

248
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,280
Is it doing anything?  It's making me
feel like I need a dump. Constantly.

249
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,320
It's making me lose
all feeling in my anus.

250
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:16,320
Wait. Did you have feeling
there before?  Don't know.

251
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,360
Wait. Is your spine getting hot?
A little bit, yeah.

252
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,600
And my blood's gone fizzy.

253
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,320
AUDIO DISTORTS

254
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,320
I think it's kicking in.

255
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,240
MUSIC: Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In
by the 5th Dimension

256
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,920
 And love will steer the stars

257
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,920
 This is the dawning
of the age of Aquarius... 

258
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,000
That's a good beat!

259
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,880
You're great at your job!

260
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,880
 Aquarius... 

261
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,480
Come on, you fucking legends!

262
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,120
Let's fucking have it!

263
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,120
INTENSE TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

264
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,520
MAN SCREAMS

265
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,160
WILD CAT ROARS

266
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,240
SHE ROARS

267
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,760
Huh?

268
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,440
Huh?

269
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,000
Ah-ahh!

270
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,600
FOLK MUSIC IN BACKGROUND

271
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,600
Kent!

272
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,720
Still with the Batman, then.
Dude.  Ahhhh, it's all right.

273
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,000
We're cool, brother.
I just stabbed him there.

274
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:26,280
Right in my clavicle.
It was actually kind of funny.

275
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,280
It was, wasn't it? Yeah.
You went so white and pale.

276
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,160
AUDIO DISTORTS

277
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,400
SHE LAUGHS

278
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,080
You know he probably
fucks them bats?

279
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,920
All right, Kent,
we'll see you later.

280
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,360
 Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

281
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,240
 Fuck you! 

282
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,360
Alison.  Not any more.

283
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,360
(I just double-dropped. I feel
like I need to clean a house.)

284
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,240
That's wonderful.

285
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,720
Do you want to do something

286
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,120
really fun?

287
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,400
PIERCING FEEDBACK WHINES

288
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,920
SHE YELPS

289
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,920
And first place goes to Mary Lee's
white chocolate iPad.

290
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,760
Verian, I thought we were announcing
the winners together.

291
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,440
And I thought the Berry Man
needed his space.

292
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:19,440
I like you, Verian.
I really do.  Good. Me too.

293
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,840
But I'm the Berry Man now. I have
responsibilities to this village.

294
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,960
My...penile desires
have to come second.

295
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,960
So there are...penile desires?
Of course.  Oh!

296
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,040
I may be the Berry Man
but I'm still a man.

297
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,800
But there are rules
that must be obeyed.

298
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,560
No, look, if it's about
the village rule,

299
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,920
then, technically the
administration tent is outside the parish boundaries.

300
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,960
No, the parish boundaries finish at
the crossroads just past the Co-op.

301
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,960
Yep. Now. But they were extended
to there in 1872.  1872.

302
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:58,080
And as the office of the Berry Man
was created in...  1695...

303
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,640
..it predates the boundary change.

304
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,640
So in the administration tent,
the parish rules...

305
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,400
Do not apply.  ..do not apply.

306
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,560
Oh, watch the costume.  You're not
the Berry Man in here.  Argh!

307
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,920
SHE LAUGHS

308
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,720
Fly, my pretties! Be free!
Spread some fucking rabies!

309
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,600
These bats are broken.
They're not going anywhere.

310
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,520
I think they're sleeping
cos it's daytime.  Grrrr!

311
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,520
Fuck it. I'm freeing a bat today.

312
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,960
BAT FLAPS WINGS

313
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,520
They're not having any of it,
are they?  Abso-fruit-ly not.

314
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,080
What the hell are you doing?!
Saving the bats, Sarah.

315
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,760
What your boyfriend said he's doing,

316
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,000
when actually he's just being
a massive wank stain.

317
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,320
I thought you were doing tarot.
Way past that, mate.

318
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,800
I've got two tampons up my arse.
What?  For another time.

319
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,560
Hey, guys, these bats
are really delicate, OK?

320
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,160
You have to look after them.
And you have to give them milk.

321
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,160
And it has to be dairy.  Dairy.
Come on, little fella.

322
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,400
Come on. That's OK.
No-one's going to harm you now.

323
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,240
Ssh, ssh. It's all right,
little friend.

324
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,640
VERIAN, OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
Oh, I found your trunk.

325
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,680
MORPHEUS:
Yeah. And it's full of sap.

326
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,720
What is that?

327
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,920
THEY MOAN AND GRUNT

328
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,120
You're a bad, bad Berry Man.

329
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,200
Yeah, I'm about to get a whole
lot worse.  Oh, yeah?  Yeah.

330
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,400
Oh, your branch is so hard.  Yeah.

331
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,600
Oh, burst my berries.  Ohh.

332
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,000
Waagh!

333
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,440
Oh.  Mm.

334
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,400
Shower me in berry juice!

335
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,800
Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah.

336
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,800
Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, shit.
Yeah. Oh, shit.

337
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,880
Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Yeah.

338
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,080
Harvest my bounty!

339
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,200
WOMAN SINGING OPERA OVER SEX NOISES

340
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,520
MORPHEUS GROANS LOUDLY

341
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,520
Oh, my God. I nearly
squashed this bat.

342
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,640
BATS SQUEAK

343
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,080
Holy shit!

344
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,840
VERIAN MOANS OVER LOUDSPEAKER

345
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,840
That was rather a lot.  Ohh...

346
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,160
HEAVY DRUMBEATS

347
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,600
There's the hat. Jacket...thing.

348
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,640
And, er...  Probably best
keep the trousers.  Yeah. Yep.

349
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,640
Shame. Shame. Shame.

350
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,600
ALL:  Shame! Shame!
Shame! Shame! Shame!

351
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,000
Argh! All right! Ow!

352
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,000
Ow! All right, all right.
We get the idea! Agh! Fucking...

353
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,720
At least we didn't kill...

354
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,240
What was his name again?
Pipistrelle 579.

355
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,040
Yeah. Him.

356
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,040
But you did kill his mother.
And without her, he'll surely die.

357
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,520
Well...

358
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,400
..do you think I could
buy you a drink?  Sarah.  Yep?

359
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,400
Hurting me is one thing,
but hurting bats, that's another.

360
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,320
Just goes to prove
what I've always known.

361
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,320
That the most dangerous animal
in the world is the human being.

362
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,320
Bullshit, mate. Crocodile.

363
00:22:36,320 --> 00:23:05,000
Subtitles by Ericsson

364
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:09,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0